Red String of Fate
by Umine Yumeka
Summary: Rin has had really bad depression her whole life, and everything seems to the turning bad. Her boyfriend for 2 month broke up with her. When that happens, Rin's depression takes a dark turn. She loses faith in everything, while maintaining the façade of a normal girl. That is, until she's had enough.


The number on the corner glares at me fiercely, slowly eating away at my happiness.18.5/50 Why? Why do I have to study this? It's not fair! Why can't I choose to study other subjects? Why am I so useless? I hate this. All of this. How everyone can just shrug it off like it's no big deal when it means the world to me. I don't want to continue anymore. It hurts, the pain in my heart that has existed for as long as I can remember. I want to stop it, I want to leave this nightmare and fall asleep, forever peacefully. Nothing ever lasts in this world, everything is a lie. I don't want to get tricked again. Not like last time, not like he did to me.

. . .

"Kagami Rin! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Mother yells with all her might. "I'm sorry," I mumble. There's nothing else I have to say. It's all my fault. "I gave you life! And you repay me by doing what? Being a disappointment? How stupid can you be? How many times have a told you to study harder..." I can't think. I don't want to maintain my life. It burns so much. "Go back to your room this instant! I can't bear another second of looking at the worthless face you!"

I slump onto my bed, lifeless and worthless. What's the point of me being in this world? I notice something on my nightstand. A cutter. My body moves on its own, begging to release the pain that can never be healed deep inside. Without hesitation, I draw beautiful marks of red on my arm. Blood spilling out from the cracks, it feels good, pleasurable. I start crying again. This is what my life has been reduced to. What's the point of continuing?

. . .

 _"It really sucks you know, wanting to be optimistic, but my depression just comes right back," I mumbled in his chest, his arms were wrapped tightly around me. "Well, I'll be the one to bring positive thoughts to your life then," He said. I look up and see the bright smile I know and love. He ruffles my hair and kisses my forehead, "I promise" My heart beats faster, "Are you sure you can put up with me? I'm the most annoying person in the world" He smiles again, and says, "You'll be putting up with me, you're the most perfect person in the world." I giggle and kiss him on the cheek. "I love you Len" I smile a content smile. "I love you too Rin, we'll always be together"_

No... NO! Just leave me be! That false promise... Stop it already! I don't want to remember... I want to go to sleep... It's 3 am...

 **Next day...**

"You'll get better at Japanese, you just have to read more books," Gumi says, trying her best to comfort me. "Gumi, the problem is, I don't want to learn it. And reading? They're so boring" (UM: In my case, it's Chinese books that suck. Japanese rocks) "But if you don't, you can't pass exams" 'So I'll disappear before they happen. You don't understand Gumi' I think to myself."I suppose" I mumble as she stares at me worriedly.

We walk back to our classroom, my happy façade on. He's there, laughing with Kaito. We lock eyes for a second that felt like hours, and he pulled away. How is it that the smallest action he makes can shatter my heart? How is it that I still love him? Why can't I move on like he did? The answer is simple. Because I'm weak. I'm the only one holding onto that relationship. I'm the wrong one here. He doesn't want to be with me anymore.

And yet, he's still the person I love the most. The person I would trust with my life. He should be the one to receive it. Yeah. Him. He's the only one I can depend on.

Len's P.O.V

I wish it didn't have to be this way. Rin... My true love. It breaks my heart to see her soulless eyes. I can't do anything but watch. Because I'd break her.

I sigh and go to the bathroom, wanting to reread our love words. Just reminiscing the perfect and happy past that will never return. If only I could be stuck in a time loop, where I'll always be with her. To kiss her tears away, to protect her from this cruel world.

Huh? A new message? From Rin?

Hey Len. By the time you're reading this, which is probably after school, I'm already dead. I jumped off of the school rooftop. It's not your fault, it's mine. I'm too weak to move on, to live without you. You had the right to not love me and I bounded myself to you too tightly. We're bound together by a red string to never meet again, you see. We both know this. We've tried twice, and yet, the ending has remained the same. And even if we were to try again, the ending would remain the same. We're bound to never see each other again. Even if I didn't make this decision, we'd walk past each other like strangers. And I don't want that to happen. I'd like to thank you, for everything. For being the source of my happiness for so long. For loving me. For caring about me. It was a wonderful time for me. I shouldn't bother you now, but I can't help but trust you. So I'm sorry. You know I've had really bad depression my whole life. You're the only one who knows, in fact. So, yeah, it kinda got worse after you left. I'm not blaming you or anything, I just want to tell you. My grades got really bad, I was the one who got the lowest mark. My parents despise my very existence, my friends don't understand what I'm going through and the person I trusted the most disappeared. I didn't think I would be this broken. But I'm sorry, again. I can't live any longer in this hellhole. I'm going to sleep forever. Once again, thank you for everything. I love you Len. I want to hug you, to kiss you, to be with you. So I will, in my own reality. Goodbye.

I pale as I continue reading. This can't be real... I have to stop her! I love her so much, I would die for her! I rush back to the classroom, and Rin isn't there.

Oh no.

"Hey Gumi, where's Rin?" I ask her. She smiles and answers, "Oh, she's gone to the roof to take some fresh air. She said it was suffocating in here," The roof? I immediately mumble a 'thanks' and rush to the highest level of our school.

Running up the stairs as quick as my legs can go, I push the rooftop door open forcefully. It's usually prohibited to be up here, but now's not the time to worry about school rules. I rush out, the wind caressing my face as I search for my blonde-haired beauty. I see her lying down at the edge, typing on her phone.

"Rin!" I yell as I run towards her. She immediately looks up and her eyes widen. She stands up and runs towards the edge.

"S-stay back! Don't come near me!" I freeze in my steps. It's up to me to talk her out of this. Her life is in my hands...

"What are you doing here Len? You're not supposed to be here! Are you here to mock me?!" She yells, her eyes filled with frustration.

"No! I received your message. I don't want to see you go! I know you don't want to jump!"

"But I do. My life is already over! If you ever loved me then let me go and be happy!"

"You're life isn't over yet! You have so much to live for! I-I still love you!" I pour my heart out with each word I say. "I never stopped loving you! I was stupid and thought you weren't happy with me!"

Her eyes widen at that, her body inches slightly closer. "No... You're just saying that to make me feel better!"

"I'm telling the truth! ... A few months ago, Kaito told me that he heard someone say you weren't happy with me, that you didn't like me anymore..." Her eyebrows scrunch up at this. "And you believed that?!" She stares at me in disbelief. "I worried about it a lot and...Yeah..." I mumble.

"Len... I've made some many mistakes. I don't even know I can make up for them... And even if you love me, look at how we ended twice... We're fated to never be together. And I don't know what to do..." Tears are pouring down her pale cheeks, she sniffs.

"Rin, we all make mistakes, that's what makes us human. We can't always make up for them, you have to let it go sometimes. If that's the case then I'll go against fate for you. We'll go through every challenge together. I promise you"

"Len..." She mumbles, slowly making her way towards me. "Rin..." I walk towards her and pull her into an embrace. She shakes in my chest, her tears making my shirt wet. But I don't care. "My dearest Cinderella..." I stroke her hair, hoping to calm down the storm raging inside her. "Romeo..."

. . .

 _"Shouldn't it be Romeo and Juliet?" I ask her, confused at the pair. "Yeah. But Juliet's story ended in a tragedy. I don't want that." She explains._ _"Then why not just say Cinderella and Prince Charming?"_ _"Because Romeo loves Juliet so much that he would die for her. If Prince Charming couldn't find Cinderella, he would probably give up and marry a local princess or something." She says._ _"So you're Romeo, my kareshi"_ _"And you're Cinderella, my kanojo."_

 _. . ._

"I love you, so much" I kiss her passionately, my tongue inviting hers into a dance. It scares me to think I was so close to losing her...

I pull away to look at my tainted angel. She looks to be in a daze. I gently kiss her forehead.

"Len, life always likes playing tricks on me. What if it does it again? We've had the same end for two times already..." She looks at me with her big blue sapphire orbs, a childlike innocence shining in them. "Then we'll go through every one of those tricks together. And plus, three times' the charm, right? I promise I'll be there for you. I'll be the one you can trust with your life."

"Dummy idiot, I already do..."

I sigh with relief, my little tsundere is showing.

Hugging her once again, I whisper in her ear, "Let's get married one day."

 ** _Getting over breakups suck. Especially if you still can't get over it after months. This is something I actually considered in my dark mind. I didn't feel anything when he first broke up with me. Then, when exam results came and the person I usually talked to was gone, I realized that I lost the person I trusted the most in the entire world. It just hit me and I got depressed over it for so long. Even now. Some of this is inspired by Leave, a song sung by Gumi. It's really good, although not popular and I really relate to it. We both knew we'd be separated eventually, because we understood that relationships never last. But we chose to love. And now that it's over and he's let go, I'm still stuck. We're bound together, by a red string to never see each other again. And even if we do, we'll see each others as strangers. Even if we do love again, it'd surely end the same way it did before, twice. We loved twice yet the ending was the same..._**


End file.
